I took a long walk today.... And just thought... This is wat ran thru my mind....
1) The Path that i walk... The one that I call MY LIFE....
I have always believed this... The reason my life is such or wat it will be, has been, is being is becos of me and me only... NOONE else has a role to play... My life itself yes, is not mine... That was cos of my parents'... But what it has become is all me....
Some might argue... Not true... for example... you could be hit by a car while crossing a road and be paralysed... Then the reason you became paralysed... was the driver of de car and not you... My reply : It was my choice to cross the road at tat very moment... It was my decision... :)) So when i reflect back... The many times I have screamed and shouted... Y did u do this to me.. Y did this have to happen to me... I have to now stand back and say... That happened cos i allowed it to ...
2) Self Recovery...
One thing i have realised now is ... To self recover... you need to self reflect... thru self reflection, you will realise firstly to forgive your self....... self forgiveness is very important... I have realised that i look outside for love... cos i dun love myself enuf... and the reason, i think i dun love myself enuf, is cos i have not forgiven myself... There's so many things that i need to forgive myself for... For being a bad daughter... For allowing ppl to take advantage of me... For not standing up for myself... For letting temptation hit me time and again.. etc... I guess the day when i can totally forgive myself, is the day when I can safely say that i have recovered... and now I LOVE MYSELF... Cos the love others show u.. is temp... Only when u love urself will u fully attain the inner peace... It's not smth u reach thru others' advise or prayers... these are only ways to lead you... But in the end.. it's all abt you... Only u can do it....
Thus my search continues.... The path today is clearer than yesterday... but... it will be clearer tomo... That's the hope i carry !!
